Following on from my earlier post, here are some practical things you can do to help people with JHS (or similar), CFS and/or depression:
- If they’re sick, do some food shopping for them.
- Help them to carry heavy loads.
- Be aware of noise levels when they’re trying to sleep.
- Offer them a lift in your car.
- Offer to go for short walks with them.
- Don’t stop inviting them to things because they can’t come once or twice (but don’t pressure them into coming, either).
- Think about going around to their place for a movie night – it’s easier for them than going out.
- Help them with cooking (chopping vegetables can be incredibly difficult), changing bedding and vacuuming.
- Think of things to do that don’t involve too much social or physical effort.
- If you’re out at a restaurant, pay attention to whether they’re having trouble cutting their food – offer to give them a hand if so.
- Don’t try to offer ‘helpful’ suggestions when they just want to vent. Sometimes, there is no solution and they already know it.
- Talk things through with them to help them get clarity or stop a negative-thought spiral.
- Give them plenty of notice about events, and make sure there’s appropriate seating available at the venue.
- Don’t pressure them for a phone call – use email, so they can reply in their own time.
- Understand that they’re more angry at, frustrated with or disappointed in themselves and their situation than they are you.
- Give them space first thing in the morning and don’t expect a cheery greeting.
- Recognise that they may need you to repeat instructions – it doesn’t mean they weren’t listening the first time.
- Realise that simple tasks can take major effort.
- Understand that every day is different – because something’s easy one day (or even one moment) doesn’t mean it will be so the next.
- Ask them what their individual needs are.
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